The Quiet Life of Violet

Lessons Learned: Giving Birth

 
 

• The most important thing with the whole birthing experience is coming out of it with a healthy Baby and Momma.

• You might have a birth-plan, but you have to be flexible -- things may go completely differently than you wanted.

• Contractions really do hurt.

• A c-section is WAY less pain upfront than a vaginal birth, but the recovery takes much longer.

• Epidurals are badass. The numb feeling is freaking cool!

• Being awake while having your body cut into (even if you can't feel it), is pretty freaky.

• You might puke after or during your c-section. I didn't, but then again, I've had experience in the surgery department.

• Trust your body and what you're feeling - if you really really need an ice chip, ask for it. If you're not allowed to drink, but want have a dry mouth, ask the nurse if you can swish and spit.

• If you are uncomfortable, let someone know. There's no sense in trying to be a hero... you already ARE a hero in your baby's eyes.

• Be friendly to the nurses.  A good nurse can make or break your day.

• The older nurses are filled to the brim with good tips and advice. Don't be afraid to ask.

• Unless you really, really object to it, people will see your privates. Your va-jay, your breasts.. it's all out there.

• You will bleed for a good while after the birth. When you have a c-section, the bleeding is less.

• There is a definite "birth" smell that goes hand in hand with the bleeding -- it's not gross, just... odd.

• When you aren't allowed to see your baby for 2.5 hours after birth, the "bonding" hormone will probably take a little longer to kick in than if you were immediately given your baby.
  
  
• It's okay to feel detached, sad and in love with your newborn all at the same time.

• You will never ever have a "first night" with your newborn again. Try and soak it in, even if you are tired.

• You made a baby! Be proud of yourself. Give yourself credit. You are a superwoman!

 

 

 

Dear Squid-Kid: Your Entrance (part two)

(...continued)

After not sleeping all night (the lady next door finally had her baby, thank heaven), Momma was tired and scared and hungry (they wouldn't let us eat, Squiddy!) and in pain. Daddy woke up and held my hand. Grandma and Grandpa came over around 8:30a.m. and sat with us.

The doctor (not the mean one that threatened us with her harsh words, though) made her way into our room and told us that we were going to begin Pitocin to jump start my labor. After being checked, Momma had not dilated at all. The doctor then went on to tell me that Pitocin was even stronger than the drug that Momma had had last night and she not only wanted to try it on us, but she wanted to work her way into my closed, tucked back cervix and break my water. This was dangerous and Momma was unsure of what to do.

I freaked out and asked for the doctor to come back in a little while after we'd talked about it, and since your heart (which had shown no signs of funkyness -- besides the seven minute smoosh, of course --  since the NST the day before) was stable and on the monitor, she agreed. Daddy called up Miss Michelle, our Doula, and asked her what she thought about everything that the doctor proposed.

Oh Squiddy, we were so lucky to have Michelle. She not only calmed Momma down, but she explained what she had seen go down with women who were in Momma's situation and had had the drugs and procedures done (both good and bad). Her words, which were not pushy or demanding like the doctors',  helped us make an informed decision as a family. Grandma and Grandpa and Daddy and I talked about it for a bit and these were the options that we had:

One: Go home. Just because your heart had two little blips on one Non-Stress Test, didn't mean that Momma would have a "dead baby." We'd go to all my upcoming appointments and regularly scheduled Non-Stress Tests, and then we'd go into labor naturally and have you as planned.

Two: Go ahead with the drugs, see if they worked, even though they could be even more dangerous to both you and I. If a 1/4 of a dose of a drug that was less harsh than Pitocin did what it did to us, what would a full dose of an even stronger drug do to you?  A lot of times, women whose bodies aren't ready for labor (like mine!), elect to get the drugs and end up having some sort of problem that can endanger the baby. Sometimes, even if everything goes all right with the drugs, long hours of hard, un-natural labor might cause the woman to end up needing a c-section due to stress or fatigue.

Three: Cut to the chase and elect to have a c-section. Momma would be rested, and in control and there were no chances of the funky drugs doing anything to you or me.

Your safety and life was worth way more than "trying out" the drugs  and hoping that they wouldn't hurt us, and Momma was WAY too shaken up to just go home and hope nothing happened to you.

The doctor seemed hesitant, but it was my first decision as a mother and I still stand by it. She said we'd have you within the next hour or so. HOLY CRAP! How's that for making an entrance?!

A weight of your possible harm was lifted off of Momma's shoulders and then the room was abuzz with excitement! We called the Grandma and Grandpa Clark and Auntie Effie and Uncle Joey and Matt and Natty. This was a happy, calm situation and we were all so happy!

Daddy put on his scrubs.

[Paging Doctor Daddy. Please report to Momma's room.]

I got a nice hat to wear and the doctors started prepping the O.R. for your arrival.

[I think I pulled the blue off well, no?]

They gave Momma an antacid right before we went surgery that made her puke 'till she saw white dots, but it was reassuring knowing that there was nothing in my belly to interrupt your birth.

We said our goodbyes to our family (both sets of your Grandmas and Grandpas had arrived, as well as your Auntie and Uncle Joey) and they wheeled Momma into the operating room. I was still having slight contractions, but nothing could get dampen my excitement for your arrival. Daddy was allowed to go into the operating room with Momma, Squiddy! Never in my life had I been blessed enough to have someone, let alone the man I love the most, in the operating room with me.

They put an epidural into Momma's back -- I jumped a bit at the first poke, Ouch! -- and then things got crazy. I could feel my back getting numb. Then Momma's butt cheeks, then thighs and legs and ankles and feet. And I MEANT plural feet! It was so weird, I could feel the foot that wasn't there, I could feel my calf and knee. SO crazy! They put a tiny dose (tiny at my urging) of pain meds into Momma's I.V., so I was feeling like a rainbow. I felt as puffy as a unicorn and as happy as a peach. And I was going to meet you soon! And Daddy was there! I swear, Squiddy, it was by far one of the coolest things I've ever experienced.

They let Daddy into the room and he sat beside me and held my hand. I kept asking him if he was okay -- Daddy is just a bit squeamish -- and he said that he was doing fine, but didn't want to look over the curtain. I don't blame him... My guts probably looks a bit gross.

....

and then we heard you.

Your little cry!

You were here and alive and screaming with life!

Everything we had worked and hoped and pray for had come true.

(My heart still swells just writing that!)

I saw them carry you over to the examination table, but I couldn't see much.

I told Daddy to go be with you and to take a picture.

Roman Archer-James Clark

June 19th, 2011

12:23 p.m.

5 pounds, 7 ounces

18 inches long

____

 

And now I have two loves of my whole life.

Dear Squid-Kid: Your Entrance (part one)

We've had an adventure, my boy.

Saturday, Momma went in for one last Non-Stress Test at a different hospital than normal ( we were out visiting our parents) and the doctor, who isn't Momma's normal doctor, noticed that your heart dropped a tiny bit after two contractions (out of about 25) and it was decided that Momma needed to go in to be induce that night, not the next as originally planned. The doctor was a butthead, Squiddy. She scared Momma, saying, "Well, you could go home and pack your stuff, but then you might deliver a dead baby." Daddy was furious. The doctor kept frowning at me when ever I'd ask any questions and always came back to the "dead baby" answer. Momma hopes that the mean doctor stubs her toe. Not even a small toe.. the BIG toe.

[The last picture Momma took of you in her belly.]

After that,  Momma's head was  frantic and scared, we raced back to Grandma Clark's house to pick up our things, and then I met up with my Mom and Dad. They drove you and me to the hospital while Daddy drove home and packed our hospital bags.

[The drive to the Hospital.]

Momma was admitted to the hospital around 10:30 pm and had a mini breakdown when the nurse started putting hospital bands on my arm and had me wear a gown. She started an I.V. for "hydration" and so it began.

After Daddy got there, Grandma and Grandpa left and the doctor came in to talk about which drugs we'd use to start my labor. As it turned out, the ONLY drug they used to start labor was the one drug that momma and her Doula Michelle agreed was not okay to use. So, despite my concerns and seeing as it was our only option we got the doctor to agreed to use just a 1/4 of the regular dose (Momma is hypersensitive to drugs...) and do it vaginally (I'll explain that to you when you're older... you'll probably get grossed out. Sorry, love),  just in case Momma had a bad reaction. We could remove the little bit of the pill and go from there.

Momma and Daddy got settled in for the night.

[Contractions started kicking in!]

Daddy dozed off on the little couch/bed thing and Momma was kind of wide awake. I was scared, excited, in pain and in love all at the same time.

The contractions started picking up around 1a.m. Ouch. Since your heart rate and my contractions were on the monitor (via an NST machine), we could see how you fared through the whole thing.

Ouch.

OUCH.

Momma looked at the monitor and she was having contractions all right. With Daddy sleeping like a rock a few feet away, Momma looked up and noticed she was again having a contraction.

And long one.

Still there.

And still.

And even now.

She also notcied that your heart rate was a bit low.

And then it got lower.

And then it dipped lower than Momm'as own heart beat and I freaked the eff out. I started shaking.

Suddenly, five nurses and a doctor  RUSH into the room, have me scoot down,  spread my legs, try to take the little bit of the pill out. They can't get it, so they flush me out with saline with the hope that it'll work. They then gave Momma a shot to stop labor. 

And then we all watched.

Held our breath.

Watched some more.

....

The contraction went away.

Your heart beat went back to normal and Momma was as shaky as a leaf. The doctors explained that both you and I didn't like the drug (DUH!! Momma knew it before they even started the medicine, but tired to give the doctor the benefit of the doubt). The seven minute long contraction I had just had was cutting off your blood supply, hence the major drop in your your heart rate.
(Daddy slept through the whole thing.)

Squiddy, that was the scariest thing that happened the whole time I was pregnant with you.  My heart is still scared, even though you're here sleeping next to me right now.

After that, Momma was told to get some rest. She still felt contractions, even though they were nowhere near as bad as the seven-minute meanie. Momma's back hurt. Momma was shaking from the shot still. The lady in the room next to us was SCREAMING bloody murder all night and it really made Momma feel so scared. It sounded like the poor woman was being held captive and tortured. Momma was already super sensitive to everything (the noise of the I.V. machine, Daddy's breathing, foot steps down the hall), and the pained yelling was enough to make me shake and cry and somewhat hyperventilate. It was traumatic. It was scary. It was the beginning of our story.

 
(to be continued tomorrow)

----------------------------

But, because I'm a lover, not a fighter, here's a picture of what the
little man was doing while I wrote this. ;)

 

Squiddy Has A Song In His Heart

 

And he dedicated it to me.

 

 

We're in Labor & Delivery and we are getting the party started.

OH MY GOD!!!!!

 

Dustin and Sully

Dustin ordered me The Birth Book, as recommended by our Doula, Michelle. When it came in the mail, he decided to crack it open and start reading. It only lasted about three minutes until he set it back down and moved on to his next activity.

Now, one thing about my Mr. Dustin is that he's a bit squeamish when it comes to blood. When someone on a television show or movie get their blood drawn, he makes a repulsed face, bunches up his hands, sticks his tongue out and sometimes closes his eyes. Kind of like THIS face, but with more of a moustache.

He's already decided that he probably won't be able to look at Roman's head as it pokes out of my va-jay or cut the cord once he's born. He's also declared that he wants to stay above the waist while I'm birthing and might even pass out.

He said,"I'm gunna be just like Sully when he thinks Boo is cubed."

My very own Sully, only less hairy!  <3

 

I'm kind of in love forever.