Missing Glitter

I used to be spunky. I used to be really happy and joyous and full of glitter. Let me clarify, it's not that I'm NOT happy now (because life is pretty good at the moment), but I just don't feel light anymore. Life feels heavy. I MISS being spunky. Being totally optimistic and bubbly and carefree. I miss our college days of being with Dustin most of my waking hours. I love being a Mom to my amazing, precious boys, and a Wife to Dustin, but it feels like some of me has been misplaced.

One of Dustin's cousins has a fiancé whom I really adore. She's younger than I am by a handful of years and you can just see the glitter in her eyes. The second time we all hung out, it hit me, she is how I was. She energizes my glitter batteries and makes me feel like "me" again. Her smile and energy and presence. Jhst like who I once was, only blonder. Where have I gone?

Do any of you know what I'm talking about? I can't be the only one that misses myself. Maybe I miss my youth. Maybe life is starting to wear on me. Maybe things and people have broken my spirit a bit. Maybe I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am.

How do I get my glitter back, guys?

 

 

 

Comments

[Caitlin]

I don't have any answers, just lots of love and good vibes. Girl, you've been through so, so much more in the last 10-20 years than most people deal with in a lifetime - one of those big things just within the last few months. It makes every bit of sense that you'd feel so much. All I can say is try to be gentle on yourself, lean on others when you need it and take some time out if you can to just focus on you. Easier said than done, I know. I hope you know that I'm always here if you need to talk or cry or laugh. <3

[Susanna]

I think glitter can ebb and flow a bit through the different phases of motherhood. I have felt pretty low on the glitter scale, when I had a new baby, or my kids were going through a rough phase. I think hormones and exhaustion can contribute to it too. I don't think your glitter is gone, but I think you are probably functioning on your reserves right now. Just imagine the skip in your step when you finally get a full night sleep.

[amy]

hey...i do understand and feel the same somedays...try buying actual glitter (whatever colour you like best)and putting it on your favourite place ony our face (your eyes, cheekbones, etc.) it will bring a smile to your face as well as to others that see you!! :)

[Emily]

oh gosh. i COMPLETELY feel this way. thank you for putting to words what my heart has been feeling!

[Kim]

I love this post. I feel this post.

I have no answers, but when you find your glitter, please write a follow-up so I know where to look!

PS. Glitter. It makes me smile to just read the word. I love that. Glitter.

[Ciara]

I've been reading your blog for years but have never commented (I have however prayed :)) So, I think hormones may be dulling your glitter! I found while I was breast feeding and even when I stopped initially that my hormones were all over the place and I just did not feel like myself fully (even though, like you, I was really happy) for like a YEAR. Crazy mama hormones combined with any lack of sleep for me equals dull not-so-glittery glitter. Your glitter is still there Lovely, it's just shines brighter some days than others. Love from an Irish mama of two boys xx

[Awfunk@hotmail.com]

You are one strong brave woman! As Caitlin said ....you have experienced more in your little life than many people ever experience and my thoughts are that the glitter becomes less shiny because now you have a different outlook on life again and a big responsibility raising your super sweet and precious boys! When we are young and footloose and fancy free it's easy too shine but as we grow with our children it takes a lot of effort to be that shining example for them! Search the scriptures and grow closer to Jesus and he will renew your zeal for life and then remember that you can't be everything to everyone! God has blessed you with an amazing man and two adorable boys! They are your glitter!
Alvera❤️

[Irena]

Your glitter isn't gone. It's asleep.It needs some rest.

[Mirage]

Hi I came across ur blog today.. And my God you are a BEAUTIFUL person inside out.. It's a shame how we don't appreciate our lives and the things God has given us.. I've been having issues mostly with myself lately.. You are amazing and you've really brought me back.. Thanks a ton and keep going strong.. God bless.. :) :) :)

[Julie]

I don't know two many mamas of young children that I would refer to as 'glittery'. We're all so tired and busy!