Surgery Eve

 

Hi guys!

It's Surgery Eve and I want to thank you all for the loving emails, Facebook messages, text messages, phonecalls, Instagram comments, blog comments and tweets. It makes my heart feel positively full that so many people care about what happens to me.

I have to be at the hospital at 11a.m. and I'm scheduled for surgery at 1p.m. Dustin took the next two days off to be with me and my MIL is watching Roman and will be taking care of me for the next week here in our home. Upside to surgery? I get a free pass out of doing housework for the next week! Score. Ooooo! And I get to be fed. Nothing like not having to cook, either.

I'm sneaking my last bit of food in before I go to bed. I hate feeling hungry (it reminds me of the time when I had that huge tumor in my belly and COULDN'T eat and was literally starving to death), so the whole not being able to eat anything tomorrow rule is hard on me. Probably more so mentally than physically. Once they get me all hooked up to an I.V. and get the GOOD DRUGS flowing, I won't be missin' food. I can already tell that I'm going to be missin' my baby, though. It just hit me that I don't have any recent pictures printed out to take in the operating room with me.  They won't let me take my phone in, that's for sure.  Annnnddd.... I'm fighting tears now.

Whew.

I think it should be protocol that the doctors send me a dose of the GOOD DRUGS to take the night before surgery to calm my mothering ass down.  I'm not even allowing myself to think about what might happen tomorrow and that when you're reading this on Monday morning, it might (very teeny tiny possibility) be the last time I ever see my child or Husband. Seriously makes me want to simultaneously vomit and call up my Doctor and tell him that he gets to take a long lunch because I'm not coming in.

But, I must do this. I must do this for me. For my boys. For the girl that I hope to someday have.

But.... just incase. (Pardon my dramatics.)

Dustin,
You are and always will be love of my whole life. You are the part of me that was missing, even when, at 16, I didn't know I was missing it. Your ornery laugh and ice cream-grinch dance makes my life complete. Even when you have smelly armpits and a big piece of spinach in your teeth, you are perfect to me. Perfect for me. Thank you for your unwavering, loyal love and heart. Mine will always be yours. I love you, so very much.
-Wifey

Sweet Baby Boopy,
Thank you for teaching me what it really means to live. What it really means to be brave and have  peace in my heart. Thank you for showing me that having your drool on my clothes is the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing gift on the face of the Earth. YOU are what I was meant to live all these years for. You, little boy. I love you.
-Momma

To my Family and Friends,
There is not enough space on the vast universe of the internet to tell each one of you what you mean to me and how you've each changed my life. Just know that its a lot and that I love you all from the bottom of my big thumpy heart. (God, please help my heart to be thumpy this time tomorrow.) I hope I've left a little mark on your hearts, too.
Love always,
Queenie/Gopher/Violet/Creep/Mama/Steph

 

Please think good thoughts for me today.
Please, please, please let me be okay!

Sending so much love to you all.

xo,
Violet

 

p.s..- You can follow my surgery adventure today on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. I'm gunna teach Dustin how to post for me!

Comments

[Caitlin]

I'll be thinking of you today sweet lady and throughout your recovery. Wishing you all the best for an extremely successful and uneventful surgery! So much love!

[Tamara Janzen]

now my tears are flowing...Sending you and your family prayers:)

[Jessica Navarra]

Violet-

I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I think you are just simply incredible!!! After everything you've been through, you are still sweet, kind, hopeful, and have an awesome sense of humor. I will be praying extra hard for you tomorrow! Stay positive, and if you get sad or scared, just think of that sweet little boopy. :)
xoxo
Jessica

[Giovanni]

Good luck!!!

[Keith]

Thinking of you Violet! I know everything will go well with the surgery. All the best to you, Dustin and little Roman :)

[Keith]

Thinking of you and your Family Violet, everything will be ok :)xo

[Julie Rimer]

Steph,

Still praying for you and hoping your recovery is going spectacularly. You and your beautiful family are in my heart.