Dear Squid-Kid: One Final Letter

This will be my last letter to you until you're born. 

That's enough to make your Momma cry! These past few days have been full of a lot of "lasts" for Daddy and I. Yesterday is the last Friday that I'll ever be pregnant with you. We had Benihana (for my birthday - early!) for the last time as a family of two on Thursday. I think I may have just finished my last load of laundry before the loads include things that have touched your skin. I got my last pedicure with you in my belly yesterday and you kicked me the whole time. I had to hold back tears more than once because we've almost made it, baby. The day is almost here.

I'm so scared, Squiddy. Part of me wants to keep you in my belly forever so that I can make sure nothing and nobody ever hurts you. The other part of me can't WAIT to have you in my arms because instead of torturing you with the cold water kick test every time I get nervous and don't feel you move, I can look at your face or poke your tummy or tickle you feet and instantly know if you're okay.

I'm also a little sad, Squiddy. I'm going to miss being pregnant. I know that everyone says that once you're born my perspective will completely change, but for now, I know that having you in my belly fills me with so much love and happiness. I don't know what it feels like to be a Mom. I hope it feels even better than this does.

Please go easy on us, little man. Please try not to puke on me all the time because one thing about your Momma is that she doesn't handle puke well at ALL. Please love Daddy and make him feel special, Squiddy. Your Daddy has done so much for us and has been so good to me, that he deserves everything. You and me, okay, Squiddy? We'll make Daddy feel as wonderful as  he really is. You give him a cute little wiggle or smile and I'll kiss him on the cheek and the three of us will be the best team ever, okay?

I am still in shock that we've made it this far, Squiddy. Part of me was terified and convinced that I'd get sick again while you were still growing, and Daddy would lose us both. It makes my heart crumble all over the floor just thinking about that happeneing, so we'll change the subject.

Please try and be strong when I give birth to you, Squiddy. None of the slowed heart beat or emergency stuff, okay? If we work together as a team, we can make it super awesome for both of us. I mean, it's gunna suck a little for both of us, I know, but I promise to keep you warm and keep the lights low while you learn what it's like to open your eyes. I promise to hold you tight and I will try my very hardest to feed you and fatten you up fast. All I need from you is for you to be as tough as you can when you're leaving my body, okay?

Oh boy. You are going to be SO loved on, Squiddy, once you're here. My Mom, your Grandma, has taken the day off (as well as your Auntie and Grandpa) on Monday in anticipation that you'll arrive then. So, just to let you know, you'll have not only your very own Momma and Daddy there waiting for you, you'll have your two full sets of Grandparents, your Aunt and  two Uncles there for sure. That's not to mention any other family or friends that show up to see you. Prepare to be coo'd and smiled at by a LOT of people. Prepare to be spoiled and showered with love for the rest of your life. You are so wanted and you've made so many people happy already, Squiddy, and you've not even taken your first breath yet.

So, my little boy, as I wrap up this last letter and fight the tears that are trying to leave my eyes, I leave you with a song.

.....

 

I love you, Squiddy, and can't wait until I can sing this song to you.
Just a few days until you're in my arms!

 

Forever yours,
Momma.

 

Comments

[Joyful Sparrow]

This sent chills up and down my spine, and brought tears to my eyes. This kid is gonna be some big kind of special.

[Amanda]

I have Emetophobia. Tho when it's your own kid it's different. Spit up is really not bad. Kinda like drool but milky. I'm kinda scared of what will change as she ages tho. Totally know how you feel.

[Caitlin]

Oh Violet, this was so beautiful to read. What a great thing this will be for him to look back upon. Best of luck to you now and always<3

[patience]

my goodness me - this is my first time visiting your blog and i just read that whole letter. i think i'm just starting to get a little baby fever but this is soo sweet and you are so excited so it's going to be great - good luck!!

[Kelsey Rosie]

This was so beautiful! My dad wrote a letter to me when I was only a few days old, and it's something I treasure with all my heart. How neat is that Squidy can have all of these posts to read and know how much you love him!?

Love you, girl. I'll be praying for you all day Monday!

xoxoKelsey.

[Lori (Nova)i Endres]

Absolutely beautiful Steph. Brought tears to my eyes. You will actually have so many more people with you in spirit today. I know you will feel SO much Love. You deserve it! Happy Father's Day to Dustin!! Me & Camels send tons of Love! She can't wait to sniff little squiddy :)

[Jamie]

This is so, so beautiful. Goosebumps are covering my arms.

You're in my thoughts! Praying for a happy, safe arrival. I can't wait to see what the little guy looks like! <3