A Thank You and Some Fun Facts.

You guys... you will never know how much you all help me when I'm down. When I'm not feeling strong, I just read the little bits of love that you leave and it gives me just enough to keep on going until my next  "up".  I have never been one to get depressed, but this experience has left with little bouts here and there. It peppers my days in the most un-cool way. When I get sad, it's expected and I accept it and work though it, but when I get depressed.. it just controls me. It's like something is pushing me back.. pinning my happiness to the floor. I now have so much empathy and respect for people who are chronically depressed.. I don't know how they do it. The last few days have been good, though.

 Writing about this experience has been one of the best things for working through my grief. As I sit here at 12:09a.m. on a Wednesday morning with my empty little womb, I'm holding  my favorite teal cup and sipping some Tension Tamer tea. The rain is pitter-pattering on the porch outside of our window and I'm just so thankful. I'm so thankful for you guys.  Even though this situation was one of my top five nightmares, I've made it through. It's going to be okay. If I just keep breathing, it will all be okay. *inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale*     :)

And now, it's time for some Fun Facts!.  Are you excited?!  I am. I almost dropped my cup from all my excitement!

No, not really....  Just trying to keep it spunky.  ;)

Five Fun Facts:

1. I bite my fingernails. I'll even bite Dustin's fingernails if he lets me, which never happens. There is nothing as soothing as ripping the tip of the nail off of my poor little digit. The sad thing is, my hands look SO good with longer fingernails. It's a constant battle in my mind.. stress relief or vanity.  I've been letting myself go to town on my nails lately, but my goal is to have an internal Intervention on the first day of Spring and stop this nonsense.
   
2. I love to cook. I love sitting down and planning what to make for our Dinners. I love trying new things and I usually half-follow most recipes. I'm always afraid that Dustin is going to hate what I cook and I usually hold my breath when he takes his first bite. It's so important to me that he enjoys what I prepare for us. It's one of my greatest joys to hear that "Mmmhmmm!" when he likes his meal. How Housewife of me!
   
3. I am half deaf. The chemo that I had when I was a child did something to the little receptors in my ears and I have a hard time hearing the difference between "s","t","f" and "c" sound. I'm so glad that I have people who understand and are patient me even after my fourth "Huh?"
   
4. When I was a child, I wanted to be a dentist until I realized that people might barf on me while I cleaned their teeth. That dream ended there.
   
5. I made out with my dog when I was little because I wanted to see what it felt like to be kissed. I used to kiss my hand when I was in bed, too. I dreamed about my first kiss all throughout my childhood.  What was my first kiss like? It was with my first boyfriend Anthony when I was 16. I used to take the elevator to the second floor of my high school because I used to wear a fake leg and using the stairs meant that I had to take each stair one by one and I was too self conscious for that business. Anyways, I was riding the elevator down to the ground floor and the doors opened and time stopped. He pulled me out of the elevator by the small of my back and kissed me . My (one!) knee almost gave out and he had to hold me up. :)
   He turned out to be a total douche and played truth-or-dare with one of my "friends."  I wont even type out what he dared that girl to do (one hint: we all have one at the top of our body). It was a good first kiss though.

Now go post some Fun Facts on your blog (leave a link!) or in the comments!

You know you want to. ;)

Comments

[Alli (One Pearl Button)]

Hehe, love your kissing stories! Too bad Anthony turned out to be a jerk, but at least you got that great kiss! Have a good weekend!

[Mary Greenawalt]

Fun Facts about Mar-Bee:

1. The painting of the girl that said "walking into spiderwebs" that you made and gave to me in high school was the first piece of art i ever owned.

2. I have a couple of dark freckles on my face that people always try to rub off thinking they are make up.

3. I lost my virginity on Johanna's wedding night. It was also the 4 monthiversary of me and my first ever boyfriend.

4. Cleaning makes me feel sexy, and I love to clean.

[Danielle]

Hi Violet,

I've just caught up on your story after not visiting for a few weeks. You are an amazing person and I'm so glad you shared your story. We lost a baby in december 09 {just before christmas} and you do get through it. there will be happy days again soon.

I'm off to post my five fun things at www.helloowl.blogspot.com

[Mish]

Took me a few days but I did it here is the link :) http://asignoflife.us/?p=1231

[Momma]

Hi Violet,
I just saw your note on LA's comments. I hope you're starting to feel better and your head does seem to be in a better place now.(you know what I mean) Get better, healthier and build your strength back up. Thinking about you often.
Love Momma