When I was five or maybe six years old, I used to hang out in my parent's loft (just a large room that sat above the kitchen and dining room in our house). I remember watching Kids Incorporated on the bulky television up there, I remember spinning in circles and watching my skirt fan out all around me. I also remember snooping. One day, I found this huge box of magazines and decided to look at a few.
What was with all these naked ladies?
I decided (in my five year old mind) that the best course of action was to open EVERY magazine to the centerfold page and spread them all across the floor. Why? Maybe I wanted to see if all of the, what I now know are, boobs looked all the same? Or maybe I wanted to figure out what all of those unmentionable (hairy.. oh gosh, that's terrible!) parts on the women were. Who knows. I did know that it was "wrong" that I was looking at them, but didn't quite understand why.
Anyway, the story gets better.
After spreading the box full of nudie magazines alllll across the floor, my Mother noticed that I was being awfully quiet. She called my name from the bottom of the stairs and asked what I was doing.
"NOTHING MOM. DON"T COME UP HERE!" rang my pipsqueak, five year-old voice.
thump. thump. thump.
Mom was coming up the stairs. I had mere seconds until I was discovered and did what any respectabe five year old would do.
I hid under the couch cushions... 'cause, you know, Mom would never find me there.
Looking back, I didn't get in trouble, or at least I don't remember getting punished. I think my Momma chalked it up to childhood curiosity and told my Dad he needed a better hiding place for his look books! Ha!